Clambake,Good people and Freedom

                     I finally got around to writing this post. I guess I'll start with the clambake. For those of you reading this that are not in the U.S., this past Monday was Labor Day. On the Sunday before I went to a clambake at a local bar called Jerzie Joes. It was a good time. Hot dogs, burgers, clams on the half shell, draft beer and Marshall Law performing, all for twenty bucks. I talked about Marshall Law in a past blog, great band and great guys. I always enjoy seeing them. It was all set up outside and the weather was beautiful. I was there all afternoon and into the evening. One of my co-workers, Cathy, showed up later in the day. So I have this really good day and when I got in my truck to leave and start to drive, something doesn't feel right, just then I'm told by a couple that I have a flat. Great! Nice way to end a great day. So I park to deal with it and this couple offer their help. I only had the jack that came with my truck(never used) so he went and got a floor jack from his truck. Now my spare has been under truck and never touched since 1999 so it is not cooperating to well. So not only is this "stranger" helping me, at this point he offered me his spare to use. Really cool! Now an employee of the bar shows up to help, he got the tire to come down. So we swap the tires. After we're done and I'm thanking everyone, I explain to the couple that I do a blog and ask if I could take their pic(unfortunately I didn't get) and get their names. They said yes and the wife wrote down their names,Georgann & Don Sprague. I read the names and couldn't believe it, Don and I went to high school together! We didn't recognize each other, Don was a year ahead of me. So here were these "strangers" helping a "stranger"! It made me realize that there are good people still out there. Thank you so much again Don and Georgann, for all the help and helping me realize that there are still some good people out there! And thanks again to the Jerzie joe's employee.                                                                                                                                         

This one is for you Jim, this was my view if I looked away from the band.

Shelly moved out on Monday.I'm finally alone. And enjoying it! Three months of living together, after breaking up, was more than enough. The first couple of days were weird, but by Thursday, I felt the happiest and most content that I have felt in a long time. It was a good feeling! So life goes on and there are good people still out there! Thanks for listening,Kevin

Gotta be me

              This is not how I expected things to be at this point in my life. I like being in a relationship better than the dating scene, especially at my age of 45 in a few days. I got all the wild times out of my system in my early twenties and got married at 25. I thought that was it. We bought a house, mortgage would be payed off  before I would be sixty. Perfect. I was happy. I did enjoy being married, most of the time. By the age of 38 I was divorced. Partly my fault I'm sure, but her cheating on me didn't help. So 38 and single again. Have a new mortgage, that will never be paid off. My retirement plan is death. I've had two relationships since my divorce, both lasted about 3 1/2 years. That seems to be the new breaking point, where I screw it all up. It's gotta be me. I even have a friend, whom I've known for 20 something years, upset with me right now because I said  that someone with no kids can put more into a relationship than someone that does. Am I wrong?  I'm the first one to admit that I'm not perfect. But it seems that I have more blame put on me than I deserve. Shelly is leaving next weekend and I can't wait to have my house to myself. She talks about me to her friends on the phone like I can't hear her. It gets really annoying. I like being in a relationship, but I'm looking forward to some alone time.  Just felt like venting alittle. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Still Here

             Just wanted to do a quick post to let everyone know I'm still here. Thought about doing a post a few times and just couldn't put one together. Shelly is also still here. It's going on three months since we broke up and she is still living in my house. We are getting on each others nerves constantly and can't make it through a day without arguing. Kinda makes it tough to part on friendly terms, like we originally had planned. Thank God I have some great friends that have helped me keep my sanity( somewhat.lol ). My friends have been there for me, going shooting, going to see bands, just hanging out talking, texts, phone calls, e-mails( from the other side of the world ) and etc. Without all of that, I think I'd be out of my mind. Thank you to all of my friends and thanks for listening, Kevin

Great Bands-Live

    I love music. I love going out and seeing bands live. Live, that's what really separates the good from the not so good. My plans last week were to go see a great local band that I have seen quite a few times and always enjoy their show. Marshall Law did not disappoint! But I'll get back to them. So like I said I love music and I go on you tube alot. I do nights where I just start checking out the suggestions on the side to find new bands that I never heard of and a couple weeks ago I discovered a band called Evans Blue. What I heard sounded really good. So I'm driving home from work on Friday and I hear on the radio that Evans Blue is playing at a bar in Bristol, the town I live in! They are a national act and have cds out, playing at a bar in my town. But I also wanted to see Marshall Law, yes I wanted my cake and eat it to! Lol. I called the bar before I left to find out what time Evans Blue was taking the stage.......Midnight!....Cool!.....I could see both! So I started my night with Marshall Law ( Now I gotta say good things, because I found out Saturday, that Joe, the drummer checks out my blog. lol). Seriously, they kicked ass and sounded great!  They added alot of new songs to their playlist, a few I was very happy to hear! I've never been disappointed at a Marshall Law show. A coworker, Cathy, from my new job showed up, and she really enjoyed them, and is planning on going to see them this coming weekend. I can't make it, going to a picnic that I'm looking forward to. Here are a few pics from Marshall Law. Sorry they're so dark, took them with my new phone. Great bunch of guys!

Marshall Law

My view for Marshall Law

The drummer, Joe and I. Joe's a great guy! (now that I know he reads my blog! lol)

           Unfortunately, I couldn't stay for Marshall Law's whole show, but they have some other gigs coming up and I'll be there for some. So I took off and made it to the next bar before midnight so I could see Evans Blue. They aren't a local band so I didn't know if I'd see them again, especially in a bar. They were really good! I'm really glad I got to see them. What made my night even more enjoyable was a great friend of mine, Cindy, who I've known for at least 30 years, showed up at midnight. So I had some great company to watch the band with. I had a great night out and really enjoyed the bands and the company I had all evening. Pretty cool, because I went out alone! Next Friday my friends, Debbie and Mellisa, and I are going to see an all female band called Sister Funk. Debbie brought me to see them a couple of weeks ago when they played here in town. They are another great band. Oh, and speaking of great bands, about a month ago Debbie, Melissa and I went to see The Lee Robin Band. I've really have been enjoying seeing the live bands and hanging out with great friends. I really got lucky with my friends, I have quite a few really great ones.Thanks for listening, Kevin

Evans Blue



Cindy and I. I'm so glad that she showed up!

In a deeper funk

        I've always tried to be as honest as I can. In this blog I'm probably gonna be more honest than I should be. After all, I started this blog to vent, right? So what good is it if I'm not honest? My depression is getting worse, for many reasons. Shelly and I are still going our separate ways, but she is still in my house. Really tough living with someone you still care about, but the relationship is over. My new job, I like the company and the people, but the machines I set-up are a pain in the ass, so small and finicky. I have to deal with wire that's only a couple thousands more than a human hair. What did I get myself into? I look around my house and yard and see so much that should be done, and I don't do it. I set goals for tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes, the depression is still there. So I open a beer instead of doing what I should. Oh yeah, alcohol is something I've battled with for years, we have a love/hate relationship. It hasn't helped in my relationships, but it hasn't been the killer either. So I'm at the point where I don't care if I live or die( for a few more reasons than I got into here), but I would never kill myself. I fear God to much to do that. I'm not perfect and never once claimed to be. Hopefully I can snap out of this funk soon. Thanks for listening, Kevin

In a funk

                 Shelly and I decided recently, that our relationship isn't gonna work the way it's going. So we have broken up and she is looking for her own place. Hopefully we have done this soon enough, so we can remain friends. This past year and three months, since her daughter's passing, has been really tough on both of us, especially Shelly. And our relationship took a beating. She's really not capable of being in a relationship right now and there is nothing I can do to help her. Shelly is a really great person, probably why I never forgot about her over the 26 years since we first met and dated, but she is not the same person anymore, understandably. We are both in such a state of depression. Hopefully it will do us both some good having some alone time. I wish nothing but the best for Shelly, she absolutely deserves it. Now I gotta try and get out of the funk that I'm in. I have some really great friends that have been there for me. I'm thank full for all of them. I'm also thank full for the time Shelly and I got to be together, three times, over the past 26 years. Who knows, maybe fourth times a charm. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Two weeks , already?

        First off, I want to thank all the veterans, past, present and future for their service. I know, I'm a day late, but they should be shown appreciation throughout the whole year and not just on their holidays. I have the up most respect for everyone who has served and are serving. A Big Thank You To  All OfYou!            Pretty uneventful here since my last post. One of my highlights, speaking of veterans, was doing some target shooting with my buddy Jim(Time Traveler). I had a great time, even though Jimmy is a much better shot than me( I'm gonna get some private lessons. lol). Like I've said before it's a great stress reliever. Nothin' like shootin' a .45 to get the mind right! Alot of fun.  Can't wait to go with you again Jimmy!       

Good Times!

I so wanted to get muzzle blast in the pic! Sorry Jimmy.

   

Splurges

         I will sometimes go a year without buying anything off of Ebay, and then, all of of a sudden, don't know what triggers it, I go on a buying spree. Gotta get that good deal! Lol. I've been on an Ebay roll for a week. There are good deals if you look. I got a new pendant urn for my buddy Ed's ashes, a really nice cross. Got some pendant urns(crosses, angel wings and a red glass heart wrapped in angel wings) for Amber's ashes for her grandfather, brother, me and a new one for Shelly. Filling the pendants wasn't the most enjoyable thing I've ever done, but I did it right and with respect. On a lighter note, I also bought some more Harmony Kingdom collectibles ( I know what you are thinking right now Time Traveler! Lol ). Yeah, I'm into guns and snakes, have tattoos, into weird exotic plants(I'm starting to get lame) and yes Harmony Kingdom( OK I'm totally lame now! Lol). HK are my total soft side weakness! But they are so cool! So many details and most are only a few inches in size. The sculptures start off as a clay/plasticine carving. Master moulds are taken from this piece, and then pieces are cast from a mixture of marble dust and resin. After hardening, they are stained and polished in a tumbler, making them look almost like they are made out of ivory. They look like they are solid, but they open up and there are carvings on the inside. They are really nice looking at first glance, and then when you really look at one there hidden jokes and messages. My favorite sculptor, Peter Calvesbert, has a tiny mouse hidden in most of his pieces, his trademark. I'm up to seventeen pieces so far, four of which I acquired in the past week buying spree. I know what you are all thinking by now, "What a geek", but before you go calling me that, just remember, I'm also into guns! Lol! Thanks for listening, Kevin

One of my new ones. This one is called "Foul Play". Notice the rabbit wearing a gas mask.

The inside of "Foul Play"

Anouther new one "Nic Nac Paddy Whack"

Notice the passenger pigeon carving the tombstone for the dodo bird, this one is called "The Last Laugh". On the inside of this one are tombstones of other extinct animals.

"Brean Sands", anouther new one this week.

"Croc Pot", one of my favorites. Notice the zebra leg paddle.

Remembering a good friend

       One year ago today, a really great friend of mine passed away due to the ravenous effects of cancer. He put up a good fight and at times it seemed like he could beat it, but unfortunately for him and everyone that knew him, he couldn't. Ed was a great guy! We went to school and graduated together. In our early twenties, we shared an apartment together. My late teens and early twenties were some of the best times of my life. Ed and I had alot of crazy, fun times together. So many stories, alot of which, I can't discuss here. Lol. Unfortunately, we drifted apart and didn't have any contact with each other for many years. We grew up and settled down. I did the marriage thing for awhile and Ed did the father thing. Ed did a great job raising his daughter, he was a really good father. Ed and I reconnected about four years ago. He was now living in Florida. We spoke to each other at least once a week and got together whenever he came to Connecticut for a visit. I really miss those weekly conversations. In February 2011, Shelly and I had to make a last minute trip to The Keys for her daughter's memorial service. We were going to drive home right afterwards. Ed didn't think that was a good idea and had us stay the night at his place. We stayed there most of the next day also. I'm so glad we did, it was the last time I saw him. It was a great visit, even though the circumstances all around the visit were bad. I think about Ed alot. I have so many good memories, we had alot of good times together. I have a pendant with some of his ashes in it and anytime I go out and have a good time, part of Ed is with me. I miss you my friend, Kevin

Happier times!

The most dressed up Ed and I would do back in the day! lol



Our last visit together, just like the old days



I miss ya Ed!

Best stress relief....almost



     I went target shooting on Sunday with one of my shootin' buddies, Frank. Shooting is one of the best stress relievers I know of (after sex, of course! lol). I wish the good affects lasted longer though. It's way to expensive to go every day or even every week, for that matter. Shelly was supposed to go with me but wasn't feeling up to it again. I know she would enjoy it. Shelly and I used to shoot my rifles twenty-something years ago, so I know she would enjoy the handguns. I finally got to shoot my new Ruger SR1911. I love it! Awesome piece of machinery.Even though my shooting was way off Sunday and Frank's was, in his words, " one of his best days", it was still a great time. Like I said the cost to go shooting now is so expensive. One hour of range time + 150 rounds of .45 ammo + 100 rounds of .380 ammo = well over 100 dollars,and that was just me, I don't know what Frank spent on ammo.



Me shootin' the Ruger SR1911



My SR1911




Great shooting Frank!





It's a really expensive hobby, so I can't go that often, but it is my favorite stress reliever, almost. My favorite one I don't get to do as much as the shooting anymore.lol. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Konjac flowers

     I have two Amorphophallus Konjacs flowering right now. The bigger one is the original one I got about ten years ago, the smaller one is a baby from that one. They are amazing plants. They are found mainly throughout Asia. When they are mature enough, they send up a flower. No dirt, water or nutrients needed, amazing. Just stored energy in the corm. The corm is kinda like a bulb, but different. When they are in full bloom, they smell like garbage and rotten flesh for about one day. In their native habitat they are pollinated by flies. Shelly's not too crazy about them in the house, so my two that are flowering are banished to the downstairs this year. The flowers haven't opened all the way like they should have, so light might be a factor at some point. Here are the two in bloom.

Konjac flowers

Ignore the dirt with the mother plant, it's not needed for flowering, notice the "baby" in my hand. That's the corm. Every year the "mother" corm has babies, and I'm now getting babies from the babies. Last year I had over 80 corms, I'll have more this year. When the mature plants do the leaf stalk in the summer, it is really cool. Hard to explain, but the "leaves" on each branch are one continuous leaf.

The summer look

There are hundreds of different varieties of Amorphophallus, I've only had luck with two so far, Konjac and Bulbifer. I've tried quite a few others, with no luck. Did I mention that they go dormant for the winter?  It's a new plant every year. They are one of my favorites. If anyone wants to try them, start with the Konjac. And if you want to, talk to me, I have extras! Lol. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Divorce and Fishin'

    " For better or for worse" and "Till death do us part" don't mean much anymore, I guess. My Friend Jim did a blog about fishing (warriors-bikers-people-places-things) and it got me thinking about my failed marriage. I know, what does fishing and marriage have in common, you'll see. I was married for 13 yrs when I was told that she wanted a divorce, out of the blue, we looked at a car to buy the day before, so it was quite a surprise. All the blame for the divorce was being put on me, which I never claimed to be blameless(I'm not even close to perfect), but I knew there was more to the reasoning than she was giving. So, to find out what was going on, I had to do some things that I can't talk about(not legal), but I found out that she had a boyfriend that she met online. Fine, I guess I'm not as bad as they thought, they were together for a while, and I behaved, Lol. To get back to the fishing part of this, she was making plans to meet him while I was gonna go fishing with her brother. To this day fishing has changed for me. My mindset about it, changed. My divorce worked out for the best, and I'm with the person I always felt a connection with, even 20 something yrs ago. I know I can trust Shelly and I have to change my mindset. Maybe do some fishing this year. Thanks for listening, Kevin



Biggest trout of mine, so far!



Cactus Show

 

     OK, I'm finally writing a new blog. This past weekend was an annual event that I look forward to every year, The Connecticut Cactus and Succulent Society's 29th Annual Show and Sale. This was my 12th year in a row attending. I must be starting to become a blogger, because I brought my camera for the first time. lol. It is a great show and sale. I didn't have my voice of reason with me again, Shelly spent a long weekend of quality time at her son's house, but I stayed in control and didn't buy too many plants. Sometimes in past years I've come home with so many that I have a hard time making room for them. The last two years I try to get more winter hardy cactus so they can stay outside year round, in the cactus and succulent garden I did last year. All my other plants come in for the winter so the living room looks like a jungle for quite awhile. But every year at this show I always find at least a couple of ones that I have to include in the jungle. After going for 12 years there are always familiar faces and always some new ones too. I learn something every year that I go, everyone there shares the same passion and wanna talk about it. Maybe one of these years I'll be set up there selling or have a plant entered in the show. Now for some pics. Thanks for listening, Kevin

  P.S. I gotta get a new camera. This one has a blurry spot, I can't get rid of!



The sale part of the event. So many unique plants!



A very familiar face, Ken Mosher, we have a long chat every year. I've gotten many plants from him over the years. Check out his website for some unique plants, dragocactoid.com

The show part of the event. Some really awesome plants in this room!



A beautifull Euphorbia (red flowers) that won 1st place in this class. I love the ones on each side of it also, can't tell you what they are though.



The one in the center is a Pachypodium Bispinosum. It won 1st place in it's class and best in it's division. Really cool! The one on the right won second place.

Deuterochonia Brevifolia won 1st place in it's class. Only 4 years old. Never saw one before, liked it so much, I bought a very small one. This pic doesn't do it justice.

Two of my new ones. The one one the left is the same plant as the one in the pic above. The other one is anouther that caught my eye, Denterochenia Lorentziana.

Three of the ones I got that stay outside. I planted them today.

My day off and guns

           Had the day off yesterday and decided to take a ride to Hoffman's Gun Center. Great store and I love their motto, "Guns for the good guys".  I went with the intentions of looking around and buying some cleaning supplies. Now I should say, I have a wish list of guns I would like to own (Like every other gun owner) and the top one on the list has been the new Ruger SR1911 .45 Auto, very in demand and hard to find right now. The first place I went to when I got to the store was the display case where the SR1911 would be if they had one, not really expecting to see one but you never know, and there it was, they had one( Hoffman's was named Ruger's retailer of the year, which probably helps with their supply). Now what do I do? Buy this gun, that I might not get my hands on till who knows when, or spend the money more wisely on things I should? With no voice of reason to help me (Shelly stayed home, lol), I bought the gun. The salesman told me that they have been getting calls from all over the country looking to buy these guns. They are only selling in store right now, thankfully.

Isn't she a beauty?

       I have mentioned already in another blog (God and guns) some of my views about gun ownership, I'll try not to repeat myself to much. I have been a legal gun owner for well over 20 years. I enjoy going shooting at the target range and I really hope that I never have to use any of my guns in a self-defense situation. I wish that the 2nd Amendment wasn't under constant fire from politicians and the media. There have been a couple (At least) of gun related stories in the news lately. Always the negative ones getting the most attention, unfortunately. There was one where a person entered a church with a loaded shotgun and a legally armed parishioner of the church difused the situation with no shots fired. A good pro-gun story, but unfortunately, not getting much headlines. There is much speculation that if president Obama is elected again he is gonna be on a big anti-gun crusade. I hope that speculation is wrong if he is re-elected. Guns are not bad by themselves. People can be bad, We need to enforce the laws that already exist, not ban guns, that doesn't work. Guns in the right hands is a good thing. Thanks for listening, Kevin

My blog

        I didn't know what to expect from this blog when I started it, I was just looking for a place to ramble and vent. I had been reading a friend's blog, WARRIORS-BIKERS-PEOPLE-PLACES-THINGS (Great blog, check it out) when I got the idea to do my own. I wasn't expecting much, like I said, I just ramble and vent. I'm very surprised by the outcome so far! In less than two months, I have had 1,100 pageviews from five countries, The U.S., Australia, Russia, Germany and Ukraine. I never would have imagined this, I don't have much to say. And to top it all off, I feel I have made a friend on the other side of the world, Rose. (Rose does a great blog, Rose from Oz is back!, check out that one also) Rose, you have been more compassionate than some family and friends. Thanks! Speaking of friends, Thanks to those of you who took the time to become followers on this blog, it means alot to me! I appreciate it! Thank you Shelly, Jim, Rose, Lannie, Barbara and Patti. And I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog. I have really been enjoying this blog experience, even when I don't know what to write about. Lol. Once again, Thanks for listening, Kevin

God and guns

      I was gonna do a blog about the atheist rally in Washington D.C. yesterday, it really pissed me off when I read about it on Friday, but I decided that they don't need anymore attention. They don't feel like they have equality. Are you fkn' kidding me? God is being pushed out of everywhere. Believe whatever you want to believe and I'll do the same. You keep your mouth shut and so will I. Enough of that. I had a good day yesterday. I brought a really good friend of mine to her pistol permit class and got to do some shooting myself. Great stress relief! Guns, another thing that's under fire. When are people gonna realize that banning guns isn't the answer? It's been proven over and over that when guns are banned, crime increases. One of the first things Hitler did when he came into power was ban gun ownership by citizens. What does that tell you? I have had my pistol permit for over twenty years and I hope to God (Yes, I said God, if I offended you, too bad) that I never have to use a gun to defend myself or anyone else, but I like the fact that I have that option. I follow the laws, like most other legal gun owners, so leave us alone and go after the bad guys using guns wrong. A little bit of history, world war 2 would have been completely different if gun ownership was banned in the U.S. Japan was going to invade mainland U.S., but decided against it because of so many armed citizens. The bottom line, guns in the right hands is a good thing! Thanks for listening, Kevin

P.S. I saw this video today, maybe this would work.  Right! Lol

A new start - revisited

    Three days into my new job already. I hate starting new jobs and I'll usually stay at one longer than I should because of that. No job is perfect, at least in my experience, but I think I'm gonna like this one. I'm getting a really good feeling about this one. Hopefully I found a place to retire from, if I live that long. I already knew a few people that work there before I started and everyone that I have met since have been really cool. Maybe they're just being nice to me because I'm new. We'll see, lol. Alot of changes for me. There were about 25 employees at the last place and there are over 400 at the new place. It's gonna take me quite a while to find my way around without thinking about it, the place is huge. Oh yeah, and the type of machines I'm setting up, I haven't set up in years. I'm rusty as hell, hopefully it comes back quick. And the machines are smaller than what I'm used to and my magnifying glasses weren't enough, so today I started using big, clunky magnifiers, they helped. At least I'm not bored at work anymore. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Last Day

       Well, yesterday was my last day at the job I've been at for 8 years. Kind of bittersweet feelings. I really hate leaving a job and starting a new one, but I think it's gonna be for the best, After 8 years everyone at work kind of becomes like a dysfunctional family. I will miss some of them, a couple of them not at all and there's a few I really hope to stay in touch with. One of the ones I hope to stay in touch with took me out for lunch (Thanks again Jim) and another gave me a going away gift, a plaque that says "When pigs fly" (Thanks again Frankie). Two great guys and I'm really gonna miss our daily conversations. So Monday I start over again, hopefully the last time. The beginning of a new and much bigger dysfunctional family. Thanks for listening, Kevin

That's when they will find my replacement! LOL

What must He be thinking?

      Let me start by saying, this is not going to be a religious blog. I haven't been to church in years, but I do believe in God and He has got to be looking down on all of  us with such disappointment. If you don't believe in God that's your choice, that's fine. Don't tell me I'm wrong and I won't tell you that you're wrong. I don't care what you believe in, but if you're somewhat sane, you have to be appalled, shocked, disgusted, nauseous, just plain fed-up etc. at the way this society is turning out. Just look around at how people around you are behaving, than check out national news and then world news. Are you happy with the way things are going? My plans for this blog were to bring up stories that are in the news now, but I don't know where to begin, quite honestly. Just between the psychos and the politicians, I don't know where to start. And this is all over the world! C'mon people let's wake up! Does anybody like reading or hearing the news anymore? I don't! I'm sick of hearing about the murdered or missing children, decapitated girlfriends, children shooting children in school, the civil wars and atrocities that happen around the world, and politicians lying to all of us all around the world, on top of it all. I don't think that the world is going to end on 12/21/12, but I don't think it's gonna get better anytime soon. Thanks for listening, Kevin

A new start

    It's time for me to start over. I got a new job and gave my two weeks notice Monday morning. I've been thinking about it for awhile. I hate changing jobs! But I'm not getting any younger, and I want to find someplace to retire from, and I didn't see it happening where I was. I'm excited  (and nervous) about where I'm going and what I'll be doing. It's funny how you see who you're true work friends are after you quit. After 8 years there, alot of my co-workers have become like family and I will miss some of them (like any family there's some I won't miss. lol). But overall, people have been cool with me. There are some surprises, people that acted like your friend all along, and you find out they're really not. I really hate being lied too. But I have seen that there are people there that care, and that means alot to me. And of course Shelly and my non-work friends have been there for me through this decision. So I'm excited and nervous about this change. And I hope that the work-friends that I have now will become my non-work friends, and we'll keep in touch. Thanks for listening, Kevin

My family

                 My family. Wow! Where do I start? First off, I have my parents, who are still married. One sister. Pretty small immediate family. Should be easy to get along right? Wrong! I have five aunts and five uncles, twelve cousins, one niece. It's not a close family. None of us talk. I called my parents today for the first time in over a year.. I  think  I miss my parents more than they miss me.  I don't even understand our falling out. I go to work every day, I own my own home, I don't do drugs. My parents could have it much worse. They have something against Shelly which I don't understand and they can't seem to explain. They also had a problem with my ex-wife and anyone else I was involved with, so I don't think it's Shelly. While I was growing up, my mother didn't speak to one of her sisters for twelve years, so family values hasn't exactly been instilled in me. But now I'm told I should pretty much bend over backward for them because " We're your parents" and " She's your sister", I guess being a son or a brother isn't as important. I was given crap for not being there for my niece's graduation. I wasn't even invited! How do you go to something that you don't know about? We had a decent conversation, even though it was more like some old acquaintances catching up. Well, I guess I broke the ice, we will see what happens. I love my parents and sister, I guess I just wish they could meet me half-way. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Never gonna be the same

    I really miss Shelly. She has changed so much since the loss of her daughter. I realize it's never going to be the same again, and she is going through the worst possible thing she could go through, but that doesn't mean that I can't miss her. Shelly's here in body but not in spirit most of the time. She is not the same person I got back together with 3yrs ago and definitely not the same person I was with 20 something years ago. It's not her fault, but it's not mine either. The loss of her daughter has changed both of our lives drastically. Shelly is in such a deep depression, understandably, and it has rubbed off on me. I try my best to be there for her and be understanding, and I know I fall short sometimes. I have no children of my own, so I don't truly know the feeling of being a parent, so I absolutely can't imagine the feeling of loosing a child. So I live with this constant feeling of helplessness, because there is nothing I can do to help this person that I love so much. I'm sure (and hope) that we will both evolve from this horrible experience. We won't be the same though, and like I said, I really miss Shelly. Thanks for listening, Kevin

Amber's Angelversary

            It has been one year ago today since the tragic accident that took the life of Shelly's daughter, Amber. Shelly calls it Amber's Angelversary. We know she is in Heaven and at peace, she gives us signs from time to time. Even knowing that, it is still a very hard thing to accept, Shelly is having a really tough time. Shelly's son and his girlfriend are coming over today, which will be good for both of them. I know it will really help Shelly having her son here on this day. Amber's life ended way too soon, a month before her 18th birthday, but God must have had bigger plans for her. Amber you greatly missed and greatly loved by many. We keep hearing more and more about the peoples lives you had touched in your short time. We love you and miss you, Kevin

A little about me





      I thought I'd tell everyone a little about me and post a few pics if I can. I'm 44 years old and live with my better half Shelly in Bristol Ct. I mentioned in my first blog that Shelly and I met 26 years ago. This is the third time we have been together. I was married for almost thirteen years and got divorced, in between the last time Shelly and I were together, and this time. I'm so much happier with Shelly, she is my soulmate, the one I never forgot about.

Shelly and I









       We have a 4 year old long-hair mini dachshund named Zoe. She is the best dog I've ever had, and I had a couple of great dogs in the past, a dachshund growing up and a white german shephard while I was married. We also have a cat named Sammie. She was a stray living outside at where I work. Shelly saw her and was adament that we had to save her. She is now a strictly indoor cat and her and Zoe get along great. They even play together and Sammie is bigger than Zoe. Zoe only weighs 9 lbs.



Sammie



Zoe





When Zoe was a puppy, she met Xena, the German Shephard I had when I was married



      We also have two snakes, although Shelly wants no part of them. Jessie is a striped motley corn snake and Otis is a ball python. I have had quite a few different snakes over the years. Snakes have always amazed me, they look so helpless, but they are far from it.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Jessie



Otis

         I am into weird and unique plants.I have a bunch that have to come in for the winter, so the living room looks like a jungle right now. I started a winter hardy cactus garden last summer, we'll see how that goes. One of my favorites are my Amorphophallus Konjacs, they go dormant for the winter but send up a "flower" during that time that smells like garbage and rotten flesh for about one day. Shelly's not too crazy about those, because they are inside when that happens. The reason for the smell is because they are pollinated by flies in their native habitat.                                                                                                                                                                           

Me and some of my Amorphophallus plants



Amorphophallus flower



Gerardanthus Machrohizus, my favorite

       And last but least, what I do for a living. I did construction for quite a few years, a little bit of everything including masonry. Now I make springs, for the last 17 years. I know what you are thinking right now " Car springs?", that's the first thing I'm always asked. Start looking around your home and you'll find springs everywhere, automotive, medical, toys, guns, pens, lighters etc. It not exciting, but it pays the bills. Well I'm done for this blog. I need alot more practice adding pics, this blog kicked my ass and irritated me. Hope it comes out ok. Thanks for listening, Kevin