Saturday, July 7, 2012

In a deeper funk

        I've always tried to be as honest as I can. In this blog I'm probably gonna be more honest than I should be. After all, I started this blog to vent, right? So what good is it if I'm not honest? My depression is getting worse, for many reasons. Shelly and I are still going our separate ways, but she is still in my house. Really tough living with someone you still care about, but the relationship is over. My new job, I like the company and the people, but the machines I set-up are a pain in the ass, so small and finicky. I have to deal with wire that's only a couple thousands more than a human hair. What did I get myself into? I look around my house and yard and see so much that should be done, and I don't do it. I set goals for tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes, the depression is still there. So I open a beer instead of doing what I should. Oh yeah, alcohol is something I've battled with for years, we have a love/hate relationship. It hasn't helped in my relationships, but it hasn't been the killer either. So I'm at the point where I don't care if I live or die( for a few more reasons than I got into here), but I would never kill myself. I fear God to much to do that. I'm not perfect and never once claimed to be. Hopefully I can snap out of this funk soon. Thanks for listening, Kevin
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4 comments:

  1. Rose ~ from OzJuly 7, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    Kevin, you've always been honest on your blog, and its a personal-flavoured blog and its one of the things I most admire about you. You take risks with your blog (I am not that brave). You were up front on your first post about what to expect if one came by.
    I hope you will not abandon your blog - it's your place to vent, and try to remember that people are reading your blog, but some find it very difficult to comment and put thoughts into words.
    x

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    1. pigzflyJuly 7, 2012 at 7:26 PM

      Thanks Rose. If nothing else came from this blog, I'm gratefull for the freindship it has created with you! Love ya Rose! Kevin P.S. I'll keep doing it

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  2. time travelerJuly 7, 2012 at 9:15 PM

    Sounds to me like your suffering from being human Kevin..Things sure don't always go the way we would like..BUT the job can be brought to an end by saying "I'm done." Yea, might be tricky finding another job but you and I both know many others that did exactly that..Sorry to hear about your deal with Shelly--but that too will pass..And the alcohol can be a monster sometimes (been there, done that and worse)..And don't forget, there are plenty-PLENTY of people who would trade places with you..I think we should hook up one day soon and go down the range and kill some paper--relieve some stress...talk to you soon--Jim

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    1. pigzflyJuly 7, 2012 at 11:24 PM

      Thanks Jim. You are right, that's why I love talking to you. I'm ready to kill some paper whenever you are! Kevin

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