Done Looking

            I'm done looking for love. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've never liked being alone. I've always preferred being in a relationship. My feelings about that are changing, I'm starting to like being alone. I don't think that it's really a good way to feel. I think it makes you more set in your ways and therefore, harder to start a relationship with someone. It has really dawned on me lately how much my divorce affected me, and not for the better. I'm not the same person I was before. I really try to be a decent person, and for the most part, I think I am. I really do try to live my life being able to face the guy in the glass and when he has a problem with me, it's not because of how I treated someone else, it's because of how I treated us. I realize my divorce put me in a sort of depression that is still lingering and that probably affected the two semi-long relationships I've had since. My relationship with Shelly has been discussed in past posts, so anyone that has been following this blog knows there were circumstances out of our control. That relationship is another one that changed me some more, some of that change for the better. One thing I've realized, I'm not gonna be controlled ever again. Probably part of the getting set in your ways also. But, I'm not gonna let a wedge happen between me and anyone that I care about again. I did try the online dating thing. I went on dates with two women, two was enough for me to learn. I heard they're horror stories of online dating (Both of them had been on many dates over the last few years). One thing that I've realized, if you're in you're in your forties or older and single for an extended period of time, there's a problem. Myself  included. I'm not gonna do it, but my online dates could be a post. I realize that I'm far from perfect, I wish more people did. So anyways, I'm done looking. Maybe what everyone says about if you're not looking, the right one will come along. We'll see. I guess I just felt like venting today. Thanks for listening, Kevin